The Marathon of Mayhem!
by TrevorTheWriter
Summary: In this Life in Parappa Town spin-off, Join our host, Michael Mayhem, as 12 teams of Parappa Town's finest duos compete for honor, glory, and 10,000 as they go against each other in a series of challenges and races. (Reading chapters 43 and 44 of Life in Parappa Town is recommended before reading this story.) Cover by @19dee96 on Instagram.
1. Prologue, Part 1

"3...2...1...Action!"

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the newest, most exciting reality competition to ever be filmed. I am your host, Michael Mayhem, and I welcome you, to the **MARATHON. OF. MAYHEM!**"

The tall, slender host extends his arms in a pose as pyro goes off behind him in a glorious blaze.

"In this show, 12 teams from around the Parappa Town area will compete against one another, in a series of races and challenges so heart-thumping, thrill-inducing, and nail-biting, you can't help but to watch every moment. Hahaha! And the winners will earn themselves a grand prize of $10,000!" The pale human cackles, his large, unsettling grin as wide as usual.

"As you can see behind me, we are in a clearing in the middle of a forest! Several miles away from town! Here, we shall meet our competitors!" Michael, who's wearing a slick, black suit, adjusts his bolo tie.

"In fact, one of the teams is already here! I sent out cabs to pick up each of the teams from their homes, but, our first team has arrived via a ride from one of their father's! Who has told me "if anything happens to my boy I'm suing you blah blah blah." Michael rolls his eyes.

"Anywho, let us introduce the first team of the inaugural season of the Marathon of Mayhem! Please welcome, Parappa and PJ!"

Right on cue, the beloved duo of best friends walk into the camera view, waving to the camera.

"Hello there boys! How does it feel to be apart of the historic first season?" The slender man gazes down at the short teens.

"It feels good!" Parappa smiles. "I feel excited to be here!"

"I feel hungry to be here..." PJ mumbles as his stomach growls. "Is there any food around here?"

"Haha...I'm afraid not." Michael laughs.

"PJ! You literally ate a box of donuts two hours ago!" Parappa raises his eyebrow at his teddy bear friend.

"Two hours is a long time to not have a good meal." PJ says. "I'm gonna go pick some berries or something."

The bear wanders off to the woods behind them.

"Careful not to pick anything poisonous! There are quite a lot of those in these woods! Hahahaha!" Michael chuckles devilishly at the hungry boy.

"FINALLY! We made it!"

The camera points towards two young men, drenched in sweat as they walk up to the others in a tired fashion.

One of the two was a purple rabbit with slicked back green hair, wearing a matching purple suit. The other was a heavy set purple cat, wearing a red T-shirt and jeans.

"Ah! Here comes our second team!" Michael perks up.

"Everyone give it up for Gaster and Groober!"

"Yeah yeah save it..." Gaster, the rabbit, drops to his knees in exhaustion as Groober sits down on a nearby tree stump.

"We peddled all the way here for MILES on a couple of bikes that we stole-I mean borrowed." The rabbits sighs.

"My legs feel like jelly boss..." Groober speaks up, wiping the sweat off his brow.

"Huh. I guess I might of forgotten to send you a cab. Whoopsie." Michael shrugs his shoulders with a big toothy grin.

"Oh man, you dudes look spent. Do you need some water or something?" Parappa asks.

"Oh man, I'd love some wa-"

"Wait a minute!"

Groober was cut off by his friend, who immediately stood up and approached the rapper.

"YOU!" Gaster menacingly pointed his finger in the pup's face.

"Me?" The dog raises his hands up as his finger is nearly on him.

"Yeah you! It's not enough to make my life miserable once, but now you're here to try to sabotage my chance of winning!" Gaster shouts at the shrinking pup.

"Huh? Do I...know you?" Parappa asks in confusion.

"WHAT?! Don't play dumb with me, you know what you did!" Gaster frowns as he intensifies his finger pointing.

"Hey boss, I think he ain't playing dumb, I don't think he knows..." Groober tries to calm him down.

"Ooooo we've only introduced two teams so far and there's already drama! Perfect!" Michael claps his hands.

"Hey y'all I'm back." PJ walks back to the group, a bee hive in his arm. He scoops his hand in there and eats some honey.

Everyone stops what they're doing to look at the bear.

"Uh PJ...where are the bees..." Parappa asks.

"Oh uh...they're attacking that intern over there."

PJ points to the poor guy who's running around in the background, a swarm of bees following him as he screams.

"Oh my, how Un-Bee-lievable!" Michael snickers at his own pun.

"Uh...as I was saying...you'll pay for what you did! Me and Groober are going to wipe the floor with you!" Gaster shouts.

Parappa and PJ worriedly glance at each other as Gaster grits his teeth.

"Goodness! That intensity is going to make for such great television! But! Will you also wipe the floor with the other teams?" Mr. Mayhem raises his eyebrow at the rabbit.

"Oh...right. There's other teams." The green haired man sighed.

"How many other teams do we gotta beat? Three? Four?"

"Ten."

"Oh oka-**TEN?!**" Gaster and Groober do a double take on his answer.

"Yes. Twelve teams in total. You would know this if you read the contract you signed! Hahaha!" The tall host cackles.

Just then, a white car could be seen driving down the forest road towards the clearing.

"Well speak of the devil! Here comes the third team!" Michael smiles as the 4 contestants turn around to see the approaching vehicle.

The car stops in front of the gang, and the backseat doors swing open.

Out steps two large, intense looking moose women. One of which, who was smaller but heavier, was wearing a blue driving instructor outfit. The other, who was taller and leaner, was wearing military garb, along with a pink tutu.

"Ah, ladies and gentlemen at home, may I introduce you to the Instructor sisters! Mooselini and Moosesha!" Michael introduces the contestants.

"Oh! I know them! One taught me how to drive! And the other taught me what it takes to be a man!" Parappa points out with a little smile.

"Sorry kid, we ain't here to teach you today! We're here to kick butt and to take names!" Mooselini exclaims in her stern tone.

"Mmhmm. My sister and I are forces to be reckoned with! Ain't none of y'all have our intensity." Moosesha chimes in, folding her arms.

"Pfft yeah right. More like intensely stupid am I right?" Gaster whispers to Groober.

"You say something string bean?!" Moosesha shoots Gaster a glare that could cut steel.

"No! No! Just uh...just minding my own business." Gaster mumbles nervously.

"Are we live?" Mooselini points at the camera.

"No. It's only a taping, not a live broadc-"

"Listen up people! Me and my sister are winning the $10,000, and if anyone gets in our way, we'll Crush em! End of story!" Mooselini interrupts Michael Mayhem, making a statement to the camera.

"Well now! That's the kind of attitude that wins competitions!...and boosts ratings. Hmm? Oh! Here comes the next team!" The freaky looking man points out as another cab drives up the road.

The car comes to a stop, and coming out of one side is a beautiful Flora woman. Her skin was a vibrant orange, and her petals pink. She had a lean figure, wearing a lime green sundress that complimented her so.

"Mrrowww, check her out..." Gaster whispers to Groober once more, admiring the orange flower's radiant beauty.

The woman walks to the other side of the cab and opens the door. Out comes a smaller, more stout figure. Instead of an attractive flower, it's a little venus fly-trap. Her eyes were on the top of her head like a muppet and she had an almost permanent smile, grinning from one side of her wide head to the other, with sharp teeth the entire length.

Gaster immediately recoils at the sight of the second woman, taken off guard.

"Ah! Please welcome our next contestants! The lovely eco-friendly duo, May and Venus!"

"You know, it would be much more environmentally friendly if you shuttled us all in one bus instead of having us arrive in separate cars." May, the pretty flower, says to the host as the two Flora walk up to the group.

"Yeah, but it's a lot more interesting than a bus ride." Michael retorts.

"Anyway Miss May, what do you and your friend plan to do with the prize money if you win?"

"First of all Mr. Mayhem, she's not just my friend. She's my wife. Secondly, we plan on giving our proceeds to Project Greenseed, a charity that focuses on reforestation in areas that were originally cleared out long ago...like this one here." May says, referring to the clearing they're standing in now.

"Isn't that right honey?"

"Yeah of course. Speaking of honey, you mind if I have some kid?" Venus, the flytrap, gestures to PJ's bees nest.

"Oh, yeah, sure." PJ hands over the nest.

"Thanks kid!" Venus smiles as she tosses the nest straight into the air. She opens her large mouth wide and catches the nest right in her mouth, like a hippopotamus catching a watermelon, and shuts her mouth with a loud Crunch.

Everyone except her wife and Michael looks on in horror. Michael is digging it.

"Venus! I told you this before! It's hard to save the bees when you keep eating their homes!" May scolds the little green gremlin.

"I do it for the cronch babe." Venus responds with a little burp.

"Note to self. Try throwing meat at her and see what happens." Mr. Mayhem says to himself.

The next car pulls up, and out comes a couple of mean looking boys. One boy, who's taller and wider, is the first to step out of the car.

"Scram..." He menacingly speaks.

The other boy, who's a bit shorter and leaner, exits the cab too.

"Yeah!"

"Ah, here are the meanest, ugliest bullies in Parappa Town! Buzz and Billy!" Michael welcomes them.

"That's right! Me and Billy have been giving wedgies to nerds and taking lunch money since we were little! Now, we're gonna take home the cash!" Buzz, the large bully, states.

"Yeah!" The little bully shouts in agreement.

"And it should be easy too! All I see here are a buncha dorks and girlies!" The big bully points out.

"Who are you calling girlie?! I'll show you girlie!" Mooselini stomps towards the bullies with her fists clenched. The Bullies immediately cower behind Michael, who puts his hands up to calm the moose.

"Relax, relax! Don't kill each other!...yet!" Michael grins as Moosesha gets a hold of her sister.

"Calm down Lini. We'll show them up. We'll show em all up." Moosesha brings her sister away from them.

Right on cue, the next car drives up to the clearing. The second it stops, one of the doors quickly opens. A human boy jumps out, wearing a red tshirt with a star emblem and a pair of jeans.

"Thank god we're finally here! Caleb, if you're gonna let one rip, open the damn window!"

"It wasn't me! It was the driver!" A large, fat raccoon boy yells as he gets out of the car, which quickly drives off. He was wearing a green Senpai tshirt and gray sweat pants.

"Yeah and I'm the-" The boy quickly stops in his tracks as he sees the cameras pointed at him.

"Everyone give it up for the computer whiz and his weeb friend, James and Caleb!" Michael introduces the boys.

"Uh...are we live?" James asks, the camera awfully close to his face.

"Nope. We're taping." Michael answers.

"Okay good, can you edit out that last part?"

"Nope."

James sighs as he facepalms himself. "So much for a cool entrance..."

"Hey where's the big balls?!" Caleb shouts, looking at the empty clearing behind them.

"Uh...beg your pardon?" The slender host raises an eyebrow.

"Y'know! The big balls! The big bouncy balls! The red ones!" The raccoon throws his hands up in frustration.

Michael, while still smiling, has a puzzled look on his face.

"C'mon you know what I mean! The big red balls over the swimming pool that we gotta jump across! The trademark obstacle for this show!" Caleb argues.

"Caleb that's an entirely different show you're talking about." James corrects his friend.

"WHAT?! Then why are we here?" The fat raccoon whines.

As the two boys argue with each other, the next car arrives at the scene.

Immediately upon stopping, two small boys jump out of the car and race laps around the contestants.

"Finally! We're here! This is it!" Said one of the boys, a small purple rat. Wearing a blue Parappa Town football Jersey with the number 81 on it.

"We're on TV! We're gonna be famous! Yay!" The other boy cheers. He looks exactly identical to the first boy, the only difference is his Jersey number, which is 82.

"Hahaha! I love the enthusiasm! Please welcome the wonder twins, Ronnie and Robbie!" Michael laughs at the twins' pure excitement.

"Woohoo! Hey, where are the big balls?" Ronnie, the twin wearing the number 81, asks.

"There are none. They Lied to us!" Caleb spits, his arms crossed.

"Caleb they didn't lie about anything! You just jumped to conclusions as always!" James yells at the raccoon, continuing their argument.

"What?! No big balls? Aw man...I'm so sad..." Robbie, the twin wearing 82, sniffles as his eyes get big and watery.

"This is the worst thing ever...I don't know what we're gonna do now-HEY IT'S PARAPPA!" Ronnie shouts as he goes from visibly upset to pure joy in a split second.

"PARAPPAAAAAA YOU'RE HERE TOO!" Robbie shouts as the twins surrounded their good friend.

"Haha nice to see you guys too." Parappa smiles at the small boys jump around him.

"Ah look! Here comes our next team!" Michael points to the white car that just pulled up.

Out comes an old, chubby man with a football for a head. He slaps his arm quickly, as if he tried killing a bug.

"Dang mosquitoes. I shoulda brought bug spray...yo Philly! Hurry up! Put down your Gamestation and get bit by bugs with me." The old football man says to the other passenger.

"It's not a Gamestation Grandpa it's a Gamestation Vita!" A young little boy with a baseball for a head comes out of the cab with his game system.

"Everyone please welcome, the grandfather and grandson duo, Coach Wilson and Philly!" Michael introduces them.

"That was the worst cab ride I've ever taken. It felt like the car was about to fall apart!" The coach complains to Michael, rubbing the area of his bug bite.

"Hey, it could have been worse. At least it was a free ride!" Mr. Mayhem smiles with his hands behind his back.

"Free ride?! What are ya talkin' about?! I had to pay for our ride here!" The old man frowns.

"Oh...um...look on the bright side, you'll get your money back and then some if you win!" Michael grins with a chuckle.

"COACH! LOOK RONNIE IT'S COACH!" Robbie suddenly shouts, causing all the other competitors to jump.

"COACH YOU'RE HERE TOO? WOW!" Ronnie yells as well.

"Oh my god..." Coach Wilson looks horrified. "C'mon Philly back in the cab back in the-"

Before they could jump back in, the cab speeds away as another one drives up the road.

"I regret this already..." The old man grumbles as the twins jump around him.

Once the new cab stops. The doors open.

"Ahhh, the great outdoors! Doesn't the air smell good Gelato?" Says the little pink teddy bear as she exits the car.

"It smells better than the perfume you're wearing. I'm going to be smelling that for weeks." The other girl says. She was a tall, lean girl, with a coffee cup for a head. She was wearing tan pants and a green Koffee Kingdom shirt.

"Ah yes, please give it up for Sweety and Gelato!" The tall host exclaims.

"It's great to be h-" Sweety gets cut off as she sees a certain someone in the crowd.

"P...p...**PEEEEEEEJAYYYYYY!**"

Sweety screams in absolutely delight. All the contestants had to cover their ears and all the birds in the area flew off.

The pink teddy bear runs up and gives the brown teddy bear a huge hug.

"PJ I had no idea you'd be here too! This is so amazing! And you smell like honey!" Sweety sniffs the bear as she holds him.

"I just ate some. I would have gave you some but that lady ate the rest." PJ explains.

"Hey kid if you want you can reach in my mouth and get some! I promise I won't bite hehehe." Venus laughs as she opens her huge toothy mouth.

"Uh...hehe...I'm fine, thank you." The spooked Sweety gulps at the sight of her scary maw.

The next cab arrives at the clearing. But it looks a bit off. It appears that one side of the car is lower than the other. As if something heavy is on one side. A couple seconds later the group figures out why that is.

Most of the contestants gasp at the sight of the first guy to step out of the car. It was a grizzly bear. A huge one. He was at least 7 feet tall, and maybe around 400 pounds. He was very wide, but his huge arms were very muscular. He wore dirty, oil stained overalls and big aviator goggles that hid his eyes. Once he stepped out of the car the vehicle rebalanced itself.

Next comes his partner. He was a foot smaller than the bear, and much leaner, but his physique was quite muscular. He had pale white skin, and pointy, elf like ears and a pointy long nose. His hair was orange and slicked back, and wore oily overalls and a red bandana over his mouth.

"Yo, you might want to get your oil changed man, your light came on." The big bear says to the driver before he speeds off.

"Well now! Please welcome the best mechanics in Parappa Town! Mercer and Keane!" Michael introduces them. Mercer, the bear, was the only person taller than Michael.

"Thanks Mike. But not only am I the best mechanic...I'm also the best hunter..." Mercer growls, his teeth showing. Most of the competitors with the exception of the Moose Sisters look terrified.

"...HA! I'm just playin' with y'all hehe." Mercer laughs, his tone becoming much lighter and friendly.

"Ha! You should have seen your faces that was priceless!" Keane, the red haired elf, chuckles along with his partner.

"Hahaha...hey wait, where are the balls?" Mercer looks around the place.

"Right here." Sweety points out Coach Wilson and Philly.

"No no no he means the big red balls! That we gotta jump across!" Keane explains.

"Sorry, no balls here. We've been hoodwinked!" Caleb shouts, James looks like he's about to lose it.

"Aw man that blows..." The mechanics look down in the dumps over the news.

The next cab could be heard coming before it was seen, as it's blasting disco music out of the radio.

Once the car stops, out comes a couple of human men. All dressed like 70's disco dancers. One of the men was white, with long blonde hair and a beard to match. The other man was black, his hair in a big afro and a big goatee to go with it. One of the men carried a boombox with him that blasted disco music. They both danced in sync with the music, not missing a beat. All the other competitors stared at them and looked at each other with Are these guys for real looks.

"Hahaha! Okay um...p-please welcome...pffft. Barry and Barry. The Disco Express hahaha!" Michael barely contained his laughter at the disco dancers, who paid no mind to his laughs.

"How are all you cats at home doin? I'm Barry Gibson, and this is my best bud Barry Black. And if we win this here competition, we're gonna spend every dime to make sure Disco makes a comeback!" One of the men say to the camera, still dancing as he speaks.

"Aww yeah. With us here, the Marathon of Mayhem is gonna be the grooviest, funkiest show on TV!" Barry Black exclaims as he does a little spin.

"Haha, I'm thankful. Oh! Here comes the final contestants!" Michael points out at the cab with the last team. Once the vehicle stops, the door open.

"Wow! We're here! This is going to be so cool! Being on Parappa Town TV!" Says a certain blue cat with red and white striped clothing.

"O-oh. We're being...filmed already?..." A certain red headed lamb says, sweating as a camera gets pointed at her face.

"Everyone please welcome, two members of the local rock band Milkcan, K-"

"Katy! Lammy!" Parappa yells as he and PJ run over to their friends.

"Guys?! You're here too? Cool!" Katy smiles happily seeing her best buds.

"Yeah! PJ and I signed up to help get ourselves publicity! Why did you two sign up?" Parappa asks.

"We decided this would be an easy way to get money so we can be able to afford to tour outside of Parappa Town! I'm confident me and Lammy can kick butt and take names! Right Lam?" Katy puts her arm over Lammy's shoulder.

"Hehe y-yeah! We should um...kick um...b-b-butt." Lammy awkwardly stutters.

"Excellent! Now that all the teams have arrived, let me just say I'm absolutely honored to have all 24 of you as the inaugural cast of my new show! I can tell that this season is going to be incredibly entertaining!" Michael speaks, a few cheers could be heard from the crowd.

"Now just know that it might be an honor and a privilege to compete in my show, but there can only be one team left standing at the end. Each episode we're going to challenge all of you. Physically, mentally, and perhaps spiritually. And in each episode, someone has to lose. Since the show is called the Marathon of Mayhem, It is a race. The last team to complete each of the challenges will be eliminated. The team who out competes everyone else shall win the ultimate prize! Ten thousand dollars!" Cheers erupt at the end.

"The first challenge begins in one hour. In the meantime, feel free to relax, strategize, or socialize with your fellow competitors. Thank you! Meeting dismissed!" Michael claps as the competitors all disperse and wander off around the forest clearing.

Mr. Mayhem then turns to the camera. Smiling his usual wicked smile.

"In the next episode, we shall see what our contestants will say to one another before the first challenge begins. Hopefully we'll get to know something about them! Because you never know how long they'll last. Mwhahahahaaa!" The slender host cackles.

"I am Michael Mayhem! And I thank you for watching, the MARATHON OF MAYHEM!"


	2. Prologue, Part 2

"Hello dear viewers. I am Michael Mayhem, the host of the Marathon of Mayhem!" The wide-mouthed man greets.

"As you can see, I am sitting inside our production van. From here, we are going to see what our 24 participants are up to before the first challenge begins. Maybe we will get to see some character development! The start of friendships, the beginning of rivalries...or perhaps just a bunch of mindless banter. Either way, let us take a look, shall we?" Michael laughs as the cameras cut to the first set of contestants, Parappa and PJ.

"Ah, the hip hop hero, Parappa the Rapper. Along with his best friend DJ PJ Berri. These two boys have such big Hopes and Dreams. Wanting to make it big and become famous! Perhaps the Marathon of Mayhem will propel them to stardom! Or maybe they'll fizzle out after their 15 minutes of fame. Mwahahaha!" Michael chuckles.

"Geez PJ. That purple guy sure doesn't like me." Parappa says to his teddy bear friend, as they both sit on a rock together.

"Yeah tell me about it. Do you even know him at all?" PJ asks, his feet dangling off his seat.

"No! I mean, I think I might have saw him around town before, but I never met him! I'm trying to think what I could have possibly done to tick him off so bad! I try to be nice to everyone." Parappa pouts. The idea of anyone being mad at him upsets him greatly.

"Well why don't we go over to where they are and just talk to them? I mean, maybe if we can find out what's gotten him so mad, maybe you can make up for it?" PJ suggests.

"Well, I guess it's worth a shot." The dog says as they get up and walk towards the duo of Gaster and Groober.

As the two of them start walking across the clearing, they pass by the Moose Sisters, Mooselini and Moosesha. Moosesha, the leaner army instructor, is on the ground doing push ups as her sister cheers her on.

"Ah! Now these two gals are an interesting sort. Mooselini, a 32 year old driving instructor. She's mean, not lean, and is as fierce and intimidating as they come. I'll tell you one thing, I'm sure most kids who take their driver's test would wet themselves from fear hahaha! Then we have her younger sister, Moosesha! The 28 year old army instructor is much like her older sibling in many ways. Strong, intense, loud, and oh so scary. The major differences are that she's much more in shape and calculated. And perhaps a bit more pleasing to the eye haha!" Michael grins to himself.

"C'mon Sesha! You made it past the 200 mark! Just 50 more to go!" Mooselini encourages her little sister with fire and passion.

"Lini, I ain't even breaking a sweat down here! Hmm...I have an idea. Sit on my back! Your added weight should make this slightly harder." Moosesha shouts.

"Ha! That a girl!" The big moose woman sits down on Mooseshas back. Whereas the weight of Mooselini would break most people's backs, Moosesha welcomes the extra 280 or so pounds. She goes up and down multiple times, smiling like mad as the sweat drips down her face.

As the moose works out, the two disco dancers slide their way over to them. The funky music seemingly following them as they go.

"Oh boy. Here's another interesting bunch. Although a different kind of interesting than the Sisters. Barry Gibson and Barry Black, two men in their mid 30's who are completely infatuated with disco to the point where they look and talk like they're from the 70's! Despite the fact both men were born in the mid 80's." Mr. Mayhem explains.

"Heeeeyyy mama, you two got a sec?" Black asks, doing a little spin.

"Can't you two see we're busy here!? Beat it!" Mooselini shouts as she continues to go up and down, still sitting on her sister.

"Don't worry. We just want a to talk with you cats for a minute, aight?" Gibson explains, popping his collar.

"Augh!" Moosesha powers herself up, almost causing Mooselini to fall off. The two sisters are now standing, not looking to happy.

"There better be a really good reason why you interrupted my exercise!" Moosesha points a finger at them.

"Yeah! And we ain't cats either, we're moose!" Mooselini yells.

"Calm down baby girl. Gibson and I just want to tell you that we think y'all are far out."

"Mmhm! And personally, we like it when we see a couple a brick houses, you dig?"

"No, we don't dig." Moosesha frowns, her arms folded.

"Well believe us, you'll be digging it once you check this out! C'mon!"

With that, Both Black and Gibson break into a synchronized dance. Both men dance with grace in true disco fashion. Finger pointing, spin moves, and pretty much anything you'd see on old music videos from the 70's. The disco dancers continued on for a whole minute before they come to a stop. Both sweating and panting, having danced their hearts out.

"So, what do you mamas say? You dig us now?" Black huffs and puffs, his finger still pointed in the air.

Both of the Moose sisters stare at them with wide eyes. The girls then look at each other.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...heheHahaHAHAHAHA!"

Both sisters proceed to laugh hysterically. Moosesha begins to tear up as she can barely breathe, and Mooselini flops onto her back, kicking the air and slamming her fist to the ground in laughter.

Both disco dudes look completely deflated, their confidence taking a big hit. As the girls continue to laugh and cry in hysterics, the two men slowly walk away, their heads hung low and shoulders slouched. As they're walking away, they pass by James and Caleb, who are both sitting on a fallen tree.

"Yes, James and Caleb! These two young lads are quite a pair! They're both members of their school's Tech Club, which is like an I.T. department you don't have to pay! These boys prioritize brains over braun! So will this be a Revenge of the Nerds scenario? Or will they get stuffed in a metaphorical...or literal, locker? Hahaha" Michael laughs as he stretches out in his chair.

"Okay Caleb, we need to come up with some strategies before the challenge starts. I don't want to come up with solutions on the fly...like usual, if we can help it." James explains to his heavy friend.

"James, you gotta be more like Captain Tojiro from Kitsugi Katana 2. He's the best pirate in his world and all his ideas come up on the fly." Caleb remarks as he flips through the pages of one of his manga books.

James frowns at his friend's lack of care. "Caleb, this isn't a manga or comic, this is real life! There's real money on the line and I would appreciate if you gave a sh-"

"No swearing please! This is family television!" Michael's voice boomed from a hidden radio somewhere, causing James and Caleb to get startled.

James looks all around him worriedly. "Uh...as I was saying...I would appreciate if you started to take this seriously! You remember the bet we made with Leon and Oskar?"

"Yeah, if we end up getting eliminated first, we gotta write the letter L on our foreheads with permanent marker for a whole month." Caleb momentarily looks up from his manga.

"Yeah. I don't know about you, but I can live without that." James folds his arms.

"Well well well, look what we got over here!" A deep voice calls out. Both James and Caleb look over to see the Bully Boys approach them menacingly.

"Here comes the bullies! Buzz and Billy are big, dumb, and ugly! And um...hmm...well...that's mainly what they got going for them. They are polar contrasts from James and Caleb however, where they favor braun over brains! Which they have little to none of." The host comments.

"A couple of little nerds thinking they stand a chance! How cute." The larger bully mocks with a deep laugh.

"Yeah!" The smaller bully chimes in.

Caleb rolls his eyes at the bullies as he continues reading.

"We got a better chance than you idiots. Now get lost." James stands up for himself.

"Oooooo the little nerd thinks he's a tough guy!" Buzz suddenly lifts James up by the collar of his shirt with relative ease.

"James!" Caleb tries to stand up, only to be pushed down by Billy.

"You still want to be a tough guy nerd?" Buzz mocks James.

"You have 3 seconds to put me down or else **You're **going down!" James threatens the large teenager, his feet dangling and a face of fury.

"Ha! What are you going to do? Tell fatty over there to read me one of those kiddy comics?"

The two bullies laugh as Caleb shoots straight up from the ground.

"What. Did. You. Say?"

Both the bullies stop laughing to look at the raccoon.

"...uh...kiddy comics?" The big bully repeats himself.

"Oh boy..." James knows what's about to come.

"How...**Dare you!** How could you possibly call ANYTHING Kintsugi Katana Kiddy? This manga is for mature intellectuals, such as myself! The plot of the first 5 volumes of the original series alone would fry the brains of cavemen like you two! Hell, even the part where Kana Kintsugi throws a birthday party for Taro Silver would lose you! The amount of violence and adult subject matters in this manga is-"

As the weeb goes on and on and on, both of the bullies start getting dizzy and disoriented from the accelerating rambling of Caleb.

Buzz let's go of James as he and Billy fall to the ground, their brains fried over confusing manga storylines.

"-and do you realize how the Platinum Piranha wars would have ended if it weren't for Kana?! I would have bet-"

"Okay Caleb shut up! They're on the ground, just please stop blabbering already..." James rubs his eyes and forehead, beginning to get a headache.

"Huh? Oh man I was just getting to the good part!" Caleb whines.

As the two boys resume their bickering, the cameras move over to another conversation taking place. The twins, Ronnie and Robbie, are jumping up and down next to a very dissatisfied coach.

"Ah yes, here are two bundles of pure, raw, hyperactive positivity! Ronnie and Robbie! They both might be very short, and kind of dumb, but at least they have a Never say die attitude!" The slender host explains. "Also, we have Coach Vince Wilson and his little grandson Philly! They are both our oldest and youngest players! Wilson has been a Football Coach for years, so perhaps he has a gameplan for this competition! Whether it's a good gameplan remains to be seen..."

"Wowie! We still can't believe you're here Coach!" Ronnie says in a happy-go-lucky tone.

"Yeah! We thought someone like you would be too old for something like this!" Robbie adds.

"Hey watch it! I ain't old...I'm only 60!" Coach Wilson growls at the boys.

"Sorry Coach...what I meant was...um...we thought you would prefer coaching rather than competing!" Robbie corrects himself.

"Yeah, well, you ain't exactly wrong. The only reason I signed up for this thing was to get my grandson to do something that doesn't involve playin his game!" Coach gestures to his young baseball headed grandson, who simply ignores him as he continues playing his game.

"Whoa! I never knew you had grandkids!" Ronnie exclaims.

"I never knew you had Kids!" Robbie chimes in.

"Well it ain't my job to tell everyone and anyone who is or isn't in my family." Coach rolls his eyes.

"Hey kid! Do you like baseball?" Ronnie asks the boy.

"Nuh-uh."

"Wait what?! How is that possible?! Your head is a baseball! You can't just not like baseball! That's illegal! Right?" Ronnie asks his brother.

"I'm no archeologist, but I think that is illegal!" Robbie agrees with his brother.

"Do you like football? Or basketball? Hockey? Wrestling? Soccer?" Ronnie continues to ask questions.

"Nope. I don't really like sports to be honest." Philly answers.

Both Ronnie and Robbie look like they've just seen a ghost. Freezing in motion.

"Y...you...don't like sp-sp-sports?!" Ronnie's voice quivers.

"TH-THATS AGAINST THE LAW!" Robbie shouts, tearing up.

"How can the blood of the best football coach ever NOT LIKE SPORTS?!" Ronnie questions.

"I dunno. It's dangerous and a waste of time." Philly shrugs.

The twins gasp in horror.

"ROBBIE THIS IS SO SCARY I'M GONNA CRY!" Ronnie shouts in terror.

"We gotta break out the emergency ball!" Robbie quickly takes out a deflated football from his pocket and quickly blows it up.

"GO LONG BRO!" Robbie yells as the two scared and uncomfortable boys go off to play sanity saving football.

"Uh...what was that all about?" Philly looks on at the strange twins with concern.

"I don't know they're weirdos. I uh...really hope we outlast em." Coach Wilson rubs the back of his head.

The camera focuses on Ronnie, who's running down the field. He jumps up and catches the football, landing in a bunch of flowers that happen to be next to May and Venus.

"Oops, pardon me ma'ams. GO LONG BROOOOOO!" Ronnie screams as he jumps back up and runs off.

"Oh what a lovely duo! The Flora women, May and Venus! They say opposites attract, and that may be true! These 20-something year old lovebirds are almost night and day! May radiates beauty like how the sun gives of heat! Meanwhile Venus...um...well...has a unique look alright!" Michael smiles.

"Oh isn't this forest absolutely stunning sweetie? The birds are so happy and so are the flowers!" May smiles warmly as a little finch momentarily lands on her finger before flying away.

"Yeah baby! It's great! I love birds!" Venus exclaims. Another little finch flies near the flytrap, this time it very narrowly avoids certain doom as Venus chomps the air.

"I hope the Mother blesses us in this competition. I know Priestess Tulipia won't be happy with us being apart of Fauna Entertainment but I hope she'll understand once we win the prize money!" May says, looking up to the trees.

"Ah who cares what that old stick-in-the-mud thinks! We're gonna be rich!" Venus proclaims.

"Venus!" May scolds her wife.

"What? It's not like she's actually going to watch TV to hear me say that." The little pudgy flytrap argues.

"What do you mean you don't want to get new tools with the prize money?!"

The Flora women look over to see the two mechanics arguing nearby.

"Mercer and Keane! Here's a crazy couple of dudes with a kick butt attitude! These guys are not only the best at fixing things, but they aren't bad at breaking things either! Mercer, the 32 year old, 7 foot tall, 400 pound monster of a man, has the strength to lift cars and probably everyone else in this competition! And Keane, the 29 year old with he bandana on his face and crazy look in his eye, is quite a wildcard!" Mr. Mayhem laughs.

"I'm saying why get tools when we can buy a new truck! One that's LOUD! One that's PROUD! One that has a big exhaust that leaves everyone behind us in the smoke!" Keane explains.

"Man, all our tools at the shop are gettin old and worn man. We gotta think about the business." The big bear disagrees with his elven friend.

"The business will be fine! Our crappy ol pick up isn't fine! I want something that won't break down constantly!"

"But we always fix it ourselves! It's not like we're paying to get it fixed somewhere else." Mercer says.

"Still! We found that truck at the junkyard! All rusted and rotting for decades! If we weren't the best mechanics around, it would still be there! I want to drive something new okay!" Keane shouts.

"Look, let's ask these ladies here, see what they think." Mercer gestures to May and Venus.

"Yo ladies! Can you help us settle an argument!" The bear calls out.

"We've heard your conversation from here. Getting a type of vehicle that you described would be incredibly harmful to the environment." May says matter-of-factly.

"What?! There's nothing better than the smell of exhaust! It's good for the lungs!" The orange haired man claims.

"First of all, it's very much not. Second, the atmosphere already has Enough Co2 in it." May calmly but sternly speaks.

"See Keane, tools it is." Mercer puts his hands on his hips.

"I think both of you are wrong, I'd just get ten thousand dollars worth of FOOD! You can't eat a truck or tools! Well, You both can't at least. I could if I was hungry or bored enough." Venus says as licks her teeth.

Both men just stare at her before backing away slowly.

The next contestants the camera shows is the Milkcan girls, Katy and Lammy, who are hanging around a big oak tree.

"Ah yes, Katy and Lammy! Two musically gifted teens with stars in their eyes and nothing to lose!...okay they probably have things to lose. But still! Katy's determination and Lammy's um...anxiety...will surely play a big factor here in this show!" Michael grins at the screen.

"Oh man Lammy! I'm so pumped for this! I've always wanted to try something like this! It seems so fun and exciting! Don't you agree?" Katy smiles at her best friend.

"Oh um...s-sure Katy, I guess this will be okay..." Lammy stutters, kicking rocks.

"Aww I can tell you're worried! Don't be! It's going to be a-ok!" Katy puts a hand on her shoulder, which results in Lammy lightly blushing.

"Aw...thanks K-Katy...I guess...I think ...I don't know...I don't want to let you down." Lammy admits.

"You won't! I know you're going to do so well! I believe in ya!" Katy sparkles with a grin.

Lammy can't help but look at the grass with a goofy smile.

"HEYA GIRLS!"

Katy and Lammy look to see Sweety and Gelato Walking towards them.

"Ahhhhhh Sweety and Gelato! Two conflicting personalities of *I love to be here* and *I don't want to be here*. Sweety is a cute little teddy bear who loves to love and is extremely affectionate. Gelato, on the other hand, is definitely not like that! At all!" The host cackles.

"Sweety! Gelato! How the heck are ya?" Katy happily greets her friends.

"First Parappa and PJ are here, now you guys too?! It's like a big family gathering of friends!" Sweety beams.

"Barf." The coffee cup headed teen rolls her eyes.

"C'mon Gelato, I'm sure we're going to have so much fun!" Sweety smiles at her tall, thin coworker.

"The only reason I signed up for this is because I lost a bet by the way." Gelato groans.

"You said I couldn't eat a whole cherry pie in 3.1415 seconds! **You were wrong heehee****." **The pink teddy bear giggles.

"Hey Gelato! I see you're repping the Koffee kingdom merch!" Katy points at Gelato's Koffee Kingdom T-shirt.

"Oh...yeah. Uh, your Mom pretty much made me wear this. Says it would help attract customers or something." Gelato remarks.

"Well my momma has a good business sense! I got my smarts from her y'know!" Katy winks.

"Yeah, a real heir to the throne." The tall girl rolls her eyes.

"Hey! That reminds me! Lammy, meet Gelato! Gelato, meet Lammy!" Sweety introduces both girls to each other.

"..."

"..."

"S'up." Gelato blandly greets her.

"Oh um...h-h-hi there...I'm L-Lammy..." Lammy nervously holds her hand out to shake.

"Uh...yeah, I know. Sweety just told me your name remember?" Gelato says, her hands in her pockets, leaving Lammy hanging.

"Oh...uh...y-yeah..." Lammy looks at the ground in embarrassment as everything becomes extremely awkward.

The camera returns to Parappa and PJ, who are now approaching the dastardly duo.

"Gaster and Groober. These guys should be interesting to watch! Both men aren't exactly model citizens, which is a good thing! Gaster is a slick young man. Ever the opportunist. Groober is the muscle of the two. I mean he's not exactly muscular but he is very round! Perhaps there's a six pack below that belly!" Michael laughs.

"Wow boss, imagine if we win the $10,000-"

"WHEN we win." Gaster interrupts.

"Right. When we win the $10,000. Just think. We won't need to dine and dash no more!" Groober smiles.

"Maybe at Chunky Burger yeah, but at a fancy restaurant? We gotta save money somehow." Gaster says.

"Hmm?" Groober looks over to see Parappa and PJ walk towards them.

"Uh oh...boss?"

"What?" Gaster looks at Groober, who points in their direction. Gaster sees them and his eyes widen with rage once again.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Gaster yells out at the two boys.

"C'mon man, we just wanna talk!" Parappa puts his hands up, trying to be as none threatening as possible.

"Nuh-uh! No talking! No nothing! Turn around and get out of my sight!" The purple rabbit shouts at the kid.

"No! I just want to know exactly what I did to make you hate me!" Parappa frowns, getting tired of Gaster's attitude.

"Oh! Now you want me to explain it to you?! You want to soak it in some more!?" Gaster frowns.

"Boss just tell him. I don't think he knows." Groober adds on.

"Just tell me already! Please!" Parappa demands to know.

"Whatever! Fine! I'll tell you! It all goes back a few months ago!"

...

...

...

...

It was a warm day in Parappa Town. The main street was as busy as ever on this sunny day. But a couple of men were sticking to the shadows, in a small alleyway.

"So, what did you get from the soda machine?" Gaster asks his fat associate.

"Uhhhhh two dollars in quarters." Groober says, the change in his hands.

"Damn it! That's all?" Gaster dissapointedly curses.

"Hey, we can only get so much out by hitting the thing. We gotta get a key to open up the backside of it! Or a crowbar or something." Groober states.

"I'm tired of having to pay for things with change! We need some paper money!" Gaster complains, leaning against the wall.

Just then, a certain voice gets their attention.

"As I was saying Sunny, I'm sure you would love to try one of my Chin Burgers at my new restaurant on the other side of town! It's plant-based! Just like how you like your meat! With no meat!" Joe Chin smiles as he and Sunny walk side by side, a very unhappy Parappa following behind.

"Uhhhh thanks Joe...I'll uh...be sure to check it out...hehe..." An uncomfortable Sunny says to the multi-millionaire.

Gaster and Groober watch Joe walk down the sidewalk.

"Bah! Joe Chin. Mr. Silver Spoon probably has a toilet made of gold." Gaster spits in disgust.

"What I wouldn't do to have just a FRACTION of his wealth." Gasters sighs.

Right before the purple rabbit put his head back down, he noticed something. Something square shaped, falling out of Joe's back pocket.

Gaster looks up at it, his full attention on it. It's brown. Made from the fanciest leather. With the words Joe Chin embroidered on it.

It was his wallet.

Gaster blinks multiple times. His mind racing.

"Is that his-"

"Shhh!" Gaster shushed Groober.

"I...I...I don't believe this..." Gaster says, he takes a quick look around, Joe and the flower girl don't even notice.

"I...I'm gonna get it...stay here." Gaster tells Groober. His face was forming into a wicked smile. He can't believe it.

"I'm about to be rich!" Gaster says to himself as he carefully sneaks closer to it.

Closer...

Closer...

Almost there...

Aaaaaaaand...

Parappa picks it up.

Gaster stops in his tracks. Freezing in place.

"Yo Joe, you dropped this." Parappa unenthusiasticly says, handing his wallet to him.

"Huh? Oh! Did I drop that? Silly me! Thank you Parappa!" Joe thanks the rapper.

"Mmhm." Parappa replies. Not bothering to muster a *you're welcome*.

"At least if it got stolen I wouldn't have been a huge loss, there's only about a few thousand bucks in there haha!" Joe laughs as they continue walking.

Gaster's face morphs into a face of unbridled rage, foaming at the mouth.

...

...

...

"That's why I hate your guts! That money was all mine! And you just had to help the rich stay rich!" Gaster pokes Parappa's chest.

"But...I was only doing the right thing!" Parappa defends himself.

"The right thing would have been to let it go! If a rich boy lost a few thousand bucks it wouldn't hurt him! It would have helped me!" Gaster yells.

"Well...stealing is wrong!" Parappa shouts.

"So is helping the rich!" Gaster screams.

Before anything else could happen, a loud speaker could be heard.

"ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS! PLEASE REPORT TO THE DIRT ROAD IMMEDIATELY!"

"**IT IS TIME."**


End file.
